Finding your true self is, in essence, a journey of self-acceptance … of knowing who you are and knowing your perception can change at any minute. Giving yourself a break and loving yourself as is, is one of the most important messages of Rhonda Britten’s books Change your Life in 30 Days and Fearless Living.
Becoming true to your best self takes courage. We are ending our 30 Day journey together, but the journey of self-discovery and growth does not end. Please remember to revisit any of these strategies whenever you need support, tools, and encouragement to be true to yourself and Live Out Loud.
“During the last thirty days you have learned that when you feel guilt or shame, you need to replace it with compassion and forgiveness. When you feel judged, replace it with understanding. When you feel left out, replace it with reaching out. When you feel scared replace it with self-love. When you are not happy with any aspect of your life, it’s just a call to accept yourself more fully. I don’t mean quit growing. I do mean love no matter what.” Rhonda Britten, Change your Life in 30 Days. (The following questions are also taken from Change your Life in 30 Days.)
On day one, you were asked some important questions. Let’s revisit them:
Are you willing to put personal integrity above a promise to another?
Are you willing to listen to your heart while using your head?
Are you willing to quit lying to yourself in order to start loving yourself?
Are you willing to be authentic even if it means being vulnerable?
Are you willing to invest in the life you have to get the life you want?
Today, celebrate the new you.
List three risks you’ve taken in the past 30 days that prove you are fearless.
List three changes you have made in the last 30 days. How do you feel about yourself now that you have made those changes?
List three changes you are still working on.
List three changes you would like to make but haven’t yet. If you made all of those changes, how would your life be different?
“Learning who you are and being true to who you are is the most important journey you will ever take. Be open to new opportunities that come your way. get ready to be a truer and better you. And remember, stay fearless! ” Rhonda Britten
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Why wait for heaven when we can experience a heavenly existence here on earth today. This episode of Live Out Loud Mondays is about the willingness and commitment to be present to and celebrate the good in the world and the good in ourselves. Heaven on earth comes we love ourselves enough to be true to ourselves. Are you ready to give yourself permission love fully and live out loud?
“Let’s commit to living a life where being true to yourself is not a once-in-a-lifetime event but a moment-by-moment experience. Let’s decide right now, today, there is not going back. You have been doing the work diligently every day. You have proved that changing your life is more than a “have to,” it is a “want to.” Heaven exists on earth when you are being true to yourself.” Rhonda Britten, Change your Life in 30 Days. (The following questions are also taken from Change your Life in 30 Days.)
Define “heaven on earth.”
Where do you have a slice of heaven on earth in your life right now?
It may seem too early to celebrate with one day to go, but being able to celebrate is a skill. What does celebration mean to you?
If you could celebrate any way you wanted, what would you do?
Daily celebrations are valuable moments we create or discover that keeps us in touch with what matters to us. List five celebrations you could turn into daily events.
Please write a letter of commitment to yourself. Use the example in the book as a guide. Think of what would make you feel better about yourself when you are having a bad day or when things are good and you are afraid it will end. How do you stay inspired and in action? Write things you can do in your commitment letter. It may take a couple of drafts to be as concise and clear as you’d like.
Today I commit to …
When you were writing your letter of commitment, you felt …
If you could manifest all that you wrote down, your life would be …
WOW!!! We’ve been working hard for 28 weeks now and we’ve got just 2 more episodes to go before we complete our 30 week journey of completing Rhonda Britten’s Change Your Life in 30 Days. WHAT and AMAZING ride it’s been. Today we are talking about being B E A U T I F U L. Yep, that’s right, YOU ARE beautiful. Come join us as we discuss what this means.
“I know you have heard it before, but beauty does really start on the inside. It begins with a commitment to see yourself differently that travels to your brain and finally lands in your heart. From that moment on fear doesn’t have a chance. Beauty wins. Ready to see yourself as beautiful? Ready to see your gorgeous self — radiating out from within? Ready to be a magnet for love, money, and fun? Ready to feel confident, powerful, and passionate? All it takes is a mind shift.” Rhonda Britten, Change your Life in 30 Days. (The following questions are also taken from Change your Life in 30 Days.)
What does beauty look like in your daily life?
How would you know when you finally saw yourself as beautiful?
Smile — If you smiled at everyone you meet, how would your life change?
Read the daily newspaper or a magazine — If you took time to read a newspaper or a magazine or the latest news on the Internet, how would you feel about yourself? If you feel more knowledgeable, how will that change how you interact with others?
Ask questions — If I asked questions today, how would that affect my life?
If you knew you were beautiful, how would your life be?
Today, be beautiful.
List five moments that you were able to see your beauty today.
List five beautiful images you saw, people you met, or experiences you had today.
Do you believe you are capable of seeing your beauty?
If you claimed you were beautiful inside and out and believed it, how would your life change?
What thoughts or feelings come up for you when you contemplate yourself and beauty in the same sentence?
What beautiful things about yourself can you claim now?
It is our denial and resistance that causes us pain, not events themselves. When we accept the facts in front of us, we can see with clarity if we are contributing to the problem. Then we are free to discover new ways to master the situation at hand. The way we conduct ourselves shows us who is in control: fear or freedom. And the choice is alwlays up to us. Awareness brings acceptance and that brings a new ability to see beyond the present circustances with a positive attitude. When we put action behind our positive thinking, it will spur change in our life that seems like magic.
“It is not always easy to be true to yourself, but now that you know what it is like, it is too late to turn back. You are responsible for all you have learned. It is in your heart, mind, and soul whether you are actualizing it or not. It is there. Honor it. It will serve you when you least expect it.” Rhonda Britten, Change your Life in 30 Days. (The following questions are also taken from Change your Life in 30 Days.)
What are your three favorite memories?
What is your vision for you life?
Name a movie that best represents your life.
If you had a sequel, what would it be called?
What helps you process things in your life? What works for you in an empowering way?
What have you learned about how you process information when you are afraid?
What have you learned about how you process information when you are Fearless?
Name three people on your support team.
As you’ve been on this Change your Life journey, did your friends change? Are you able to be yourself with your friends?
Define what “friendship” means to you now. Is that different than when you began Change your Life?
Have you been able to use your newfound Change your Life skills at work?
What are the top three things you have learned that have supported your career?
How has being true to yourself affected your career situation?
What does home mean to you?
How has life changed since Day One?
What do you want to change but haven’t had the courage to?
How have your love relationships been affected by your commitment to be true?
What needs to change and what skill will help you change it?
If you could tell your mate one thing that you have yet to say, what would it be?
What areas of your life are easiest to change? In which areas is change more difficult? What’s the difference between these areas?
Today, honor your growth: Write down five acknowledgments for your shifts and changes. Remember to frame them in the positive, write them in the present tense and be specific. “Today, I acknowledge myself for …”
Just saying the word “confrontation” makes us feel edgy and defensive. Yet when we feel like we have to confront, it’s because we don’t believe there is another way out.
But there is another answer … an answer that brings support and fosters understanding. This episode of Live Out Loud Mondays shares another skill from Rhonda Britten’s Change your Life in 30 Days that helps improve communication so you never have to confront again.
“If you think you must confront someone, you must feel frustrated, overwhelmed, out of ideas, and that there is little possibility for a solution. Otherwise, why would you want to confront? Couldn’t you instead have a conversation?” Rhonda Britten, Change your Life in 30 Days. (The following questions are also taken from Change your Life in 30 Days.)
Who are you avoiding?
What questions haven’t been asked?
What boundaries have not been clarified or rules explained?
What expectations are you holding onto that validate confrontation?
For the next 24 hours, clarify your conversations at every opportunity. It is your day to ask questions and listen. Today you must be willing to change your perceptions of another. When that happens, you are then free to change yourself.
Do you find yourself having to keep yourself motivated? What do you do to stay motivated? How often do you need to motivate yourself? Join us today for our 25th episode of Change Your Life in 30 Days (weeks for us) as we talk about motivation and how to really maintain it.
“Motivation is a short-term solution. I think of all the motivational tapes I listened to and the books I read. I would get hyped up and excited about what I was going to do, but I would rarely accomplish it. The consistency was gone because I was waiting to be motivated instead of being proactive. I let my feelings get in the way. Left with the guilt and shame of another failed attempt, I once again tried to convince myself that if I only was motivated my life would get better.” Rhonda Britten, Change your Life in 30 Days. (The following questions are also taken from Change your Life in 30 Days.)
What effect are you trying to produce? What results do you want to attain?
What are you committed to?
What if loss was one of your greatest teachers? What loss have you denied that is standing in the way of your contentment and ultimate satisfaction?
Today, court contentment.
What am I trying to gain when I want to become more motivated?
If I were content, what would happen to my passion and purpose?
What do you think the connection is between motivation and contentment?
At the end of the day, list your top five most contented moments. Be sure to acknowledge your willingness to notice and nurture them today.
Happiness is fleeting. Joy is not. Happiness is usually based on how you feel in a particular moment. Joy is cultivated when we no longer look outside of oruselves for approval but instead seek our own personal “approval” above all others. It occurs when we learn to love ourselves and stays when we learn to be true to ourselves. Today we will explore Self-Loving Acts and what works for you.
“Be willing to love yourself a little bit each day and joy will be your reward. When was the last time you felt joy? Inner joy is something, when attained, that is always present, assuring you of a better life — decision after decision.”Rhonda Britten, Change your Life in 30 Days. (The following questions are also taken from Change your Life in 30 Days.)
Act “as if” you love yourself as you answer the following questions:
I realized I was starting to love myself when …
My most important act of self-love is …
Learning how to _____________ is a loving act.
I am worth loving because …
I like myself when I …
I am no longer afraid to …
My favorite quirk of mine is …
I ______________ myself daily to remind myself of my worth>
Loving myself is a gift because …
My ability to appreciate myself has taught me to …
Today, love yourself.
What would you do differently right now if you loved yourself?
How would loving yourself change your ability to take risks?
If you were true to yourself, could you love yourself better?
How would your life change if you had joyful living as a goal?
Our brains are powerful, and that’s something we can probably all agree upon without much thought. Yet we want you to think about it deeper. Think about how your brain puts every piece of information it encounters through a filter, and that filter is how you see the world.
Do you see the world as an abundant, kind, and loving place? If you do, then every piece of information you encounter is seen through that abundant, loving, and kind filter. Everything that happens to you is “FOR” you and for your own good. On the other hand, if your filter is based on lack, competition, and fear that is how you will see the world. The world will appear to be “AGAINST” you.
This episode of Live Out Loud Mondays is focused on examining your personal filter, seeing how it affects your life, and giving you the top tool to shift you filter to be more optimistic and seeing just how much the world is FOR you.
“Do you plan on life working for you or against you? Do you anticipate people liking you or disliking you? Do you expect life to be easy or hard? We all a have basic filtering system that either anticipates good or repels good. If you are bent on seeing things from a negative point of view, your filtering system will find a way to make that a reality regarding any situation. That also works for a positive frame of mind. Either way, you win! Rhonda Britten, Change your Life in 30 Days. (The following questions are also taken from Change your Life in 30 Days.)
Think of the last time you thought the world was against you. I challenge you to find the gratitude inherent within the problem itself. Fill in the blank: Today I am grateful for __________________________.
Now think of four more gratitudes. Making a practice of doing five gratitudes each day is optimum. And of course, the objective is to think of a gratitude anytime you feel the universe is against you.
Today, be grateful.
List three moments in your life where you felt like the world was for you.
List three moments when you felt the world was against you.
Please write a gratitude for each of the above moments.
If the world was for you every minute of every day, how would your life be changed?
“Rejection is going to happen because all of us have varying opinions, values, and beliefs. When someone is supposedly rejecting you, it is not you they are rejecting. It is your values, beliefs, opinions. I know that it feels personal. Being objective during these times of emotional upheaval will support you in seeing the truth of rejection.” Rhonda Britten, Change your Life in 30 Days. (The following questions are also taken from Change your Life in 30 Days.)
Today, risk rejection:
Do you feel rejected at work? Home? Creatively? From yourself?
When you feel rejected, how do you react? Get defensive? Shut down? Get angry?
When, where, or with whom are the feelings of possible rejection most likely to occur?
What other ways could you deal with rejection? Come up with five new ways to deal with rejection that empower you.
Luck, fate, and destiny are words that take your ability to be proactive and make a difference out of the mix. With luck you are an innocent bystander; fate happens to you; and destiny is preordained, giving you no power to change it.
Today the Live Out Loud ladies will discuss giving up luck, fate, and destiny, putting them aside and putting yourself in the forefront. It is time to count on yourself and create your own future rather than allowing something outside of yourself to determine your results.
“No one has control over everything. It isn’t possible. Yet if you do your best in the areas that you can impact, the areas that you can’t will allow you to learn to trust the process, an important aspect of being true to yourself. I am sure you have heard the saying that luck is when opportunity and hard work meet. So true.” Rhonda Britten, Change your Life in 30 Days. (The following questions are also taken from Change your Life in 30 Days.)
List five thing you have no control over:
List five things you have control over:
Look at your list of the thing you DO have control over. On a sacale of 1-10, how well are your achieving the things you have control over (1 is no effort being made, 10 is that you are putting forward the most effort)
Think of a fateful experience you have had since beginning your Change Your Life journey. Give yourself credit for the things that prepared you to recognize, and then have the courage to take action.
Your fateful experience:
You had the ability to recognize and act on fate because …
Today, no more luck, fate, or destiny:
Where have you been using luck as an excuse?
How has believing in fate held you back?
What would happen if you quit relying on luck?
How would your life change if you didn’t need to fulfill your destiny?